It's a year ago today that my father died.
It's been a year of strong challenges, grief and gratitude... run thru with a thread of sustaining love.
I'm sorry more of my friends didn't meet this man of gentle love, unending devotion and occassional righteous rage.
I'm not saying all the legacy he left me has been easy.
It aint!
I've taken over the task of caring for my brother, tho am adopting a different approach, hopefully of more enabling support than protective care.
There's been grief and rage for the suffering our family inflicted upon itself and me, sometimes unavoidable, sometimes thru lack of help and insight and too much shame and fear.
I feel I've made a reasonably good job of surviving anf thriving thru this year.
No, damn it, I've made a good job!
I appreciate the friends and strangers who've stood by me and helped me thru the really anguished times.
I appreciate my strength.
I appreciate the warm memories of friendship and humour and kindness and care. And that I did get to really see my Dad whilst he was alive.
I'm glad I was there by his side on the hospital trolley, by the bed and, in his final hours, when the breathing stopped.
I'm glad I can wholeheartedly say I love him.
and I'm glad i know that death is no obstacle to love.
I celebrate his devotion to his son, his enduring love for Audrey his wife & my mother, and our connection of honesty, strength, humour and a bigger love than words can say.
I feel like saying "Happy birthday Dad"
and Thank You
and, whatever does or doesnt lie beyond the breathing body, I truly you hope you're having a damn good time!
: ) xxC
