In response to National Remembrance Day 6 Sept for all who have died at the hands of ATOS & DWP

There was a time, several years ago now, when life challenges wore me very thin.

A debilitating long illness, bereavement, loss of job and relationship(s) left me weak and vulnerable. I was unemployed, on incapacity benefit, which, in itself had been a journey of shame and depression, admitting weakness being an uncomfortable thing for me.

When my Incapacity benefit was cut, following a demoralising assessment, which left me more depressed, ashamed and despondent, I found myself considering suicide.

Or, it's probably true-er to say, I found myself unable to sustain any belief that I deserved to live. The will to carry on, seemingly without any support whatsoever, seemed to slip from me and, after an appointment with Jobcentre plus, at which I was supposed to be actively seeking work, the viability of carrying on with my life seemed clearly unattainable.

In a very odd state indeed, I found myself walking through town. It felt unreal. There was nothing to hold me here. There was nothing supporting me or requiring me to live. I guess there is a kind of freedom in thinking you can end it all but its not a good freedom. Its hazy, ethereal, ungrounded and highly fragile.

I wandered to the bottom of the Moor and then up the Moor, feeling unreal, as if something should be here to stop me. But there was nothing. Some part of me was grieving me. Some part of me knew there were tears inside me, for myself, for my life, for a sense of value and being valued. But there was no one to speak for this. I had been officially declared unworthy of an income. I had been officially declared unworthy to live.

I walked towards Superdrug thinking I would buy sleeping pills.

I got there.

I entered the shop.

The strangest thing saved me. Something beautiful, raw and unlikely .

As I passed the make-up displays the gay male camp gene , which at the time was very strong in me, kicked in.

Like a snarling drag queen, known for their brittle tenacity , something rose up, spitting and snarling with a flourish of defiance. “Ha! Why buy sleeping pills when you could buy mascara?!”

And that was that.

I left the store with green glitter mascara, and a renewed connection to all who have been denied, made worthless, cast out and socially condemned.

I left the store still fragile, frightened , connected ...and alive.

It was that slender.

The line between destruction and survival.

And not all are so rescued.

I believe we all need something to hold us here. Some sense of connection Of care Of love even. We are all fragile. We are all interconnected. This is why I believe we need a welfare state.

Chrystine Moon Sept 2013

Cultivate hope....

Cultivate

Love,

Hope

and

joyfullness.

2013 Political Cry Out

2013.

OK Soulless fuckwit Coalition of short-term greed.

Congratulations, you nearly did it.

You've orchestrated such a relentless multi-level, multi-pronged attack on all of our basic human rights,

You have, indeed, almost rendered us speechless.

Even those of us who already had you branded as heartless, selfish bastards are indeed shocked at the span and depth of your callousness.

the scale of your seemingly endless raft of brutality.

You've gone for our homes,

for our health care,

our right to eat,

our right to education and ambition,

our right to care when vulnerable

and the rights of the vulnerable to full human self-hood and respect in a social and humane world.

You've threatened our right to reply. You threaten our right to protest.

And, when we do, you show your contempt by utterly ignoring all intelligent and humane concerns we raise.

You are killing us.

You clearly do not care.

Perhaps you are even pleased with this result

After all ,the weak and vulnerable do not appear to directly make you money.

But beware.

For as you sail home, cutting a path thru the melting ice caps, fracked landscape, devastated communities; As you kick your way thru the homeless, the sick, the distressed and vulnerable like a school child scuffing up fallen leaves in autumn, laughing all the way to the banks, beware...

for when you get there

you will find us.

Almost, but not yet silent.

Almost, but not yet broken

Not yet defeated.

Not surrendered

and Not Alone.

We will meet you there

and we will serve you with the consequences of your deeds.

We will stand,

hand in hand

on the firm ground of our own convictions.

Still saying what you have chosen to belittle,

Still saying what you have chosen to ignore.

Still saying that life on earth is precious and fragile ,

that human vulnerability is worth more than fiscal profit,

that human love is stronger and will prevail.

We will stand in the strength of our integrity

and you will sweat in your suits,

you will sweat in your insecurities, clinging to quantative easing,

grasping at derivatives and bail out clauses.

but these things will crumble

and you will fall.

And we

will carry on with what we have always been doing.

We will take back our homes,

reclaim our land,

we will care for each other, we will build with love and create with integrity. We will share.

We will manage.

We will balance power with responsibility.

And, when we make mistakes, we will apologise and rectify.

We will live together upon this fragile spinning earth.

And it is you who will be rendered speechless.

it is you who will be shook to the core by the realisation of your own vulnerability.

And,

for the first time,

You will notice the earth beneath your feet

and wonder

if you dare

to ask us for our help.

Chrystine Moon July 2013

We will not let them take our Love

These are the things we will not let them take.

We will not let them take our Love.

For each other, for ourselves, for this planet

This green, red, multi-coloured earth spinning thru the vast starlit universe

We will not let them take our Love.

We will not let them take our compassion, our morality, our ability to care

We will not let them take our tenderness, our vision, our knowledge that a just and sustainable world is possible.

We will never concede that greed is good,

That poverty is inevitable,

That human well-being must be sacrificed to the man-made god of money.

We will never agree that any system that tramples upon the vulnerable can ever be justified.

We will never count success by the privilege of a few.

We will never forget that we are lucky to be here, born of unlikely alchemy and chance meetings, sustained by an inter-connection of beauty and ecology that the human brain will never fully grasp.

We will never undervalue humility.

And We will never be afraid to Stand.

We stand for Love, for equality, for respect for all life and domination of nothing.

We will stand for Love born of justice, Peace born of respectful understanding.

Passion born of Compassion and Trust that has been earned.

We stand for the beauty of this earth and the love of all that lives upon her.

We stand for Love & justice

and if you threaten these things, we will stand against you

For we will not let you take our Love.

Chrystine Moon Oct 2012. UK 

new song " Politely!"

This is my latest song.

Born of the notices appearing in public service buildings as, as services are starved/removed/cut to an inadequate shadow of their real need & potential....., notices appear warning service users that they must not take out their frustrations on the front line staff.

I agree front line staff are not deserving of attack, nor are they the ones writing the notices!

If they were the signs would probably say " Don't swear at me, we dont like it either!"
perhaps this could replace the " Have a nice day" corporate line!

They dont tho.
They say things along the lines of " Do not shout at us whilst we shaft you"
or , in the case of the particularly evil Atos healthcare, ( a misnomer if ever there was one!),
"A pleasant environment is down to us all" !!!!!!!!

Here is my response in song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2r9_GJNfUoU

Politely!

There are signs in all the buildings
Saying “ Threats will not be tolerated.”
“ You may not assault us” as we take away the state you created.
You may not stand and raise yr hand as we remove yr rights
and if you should shout “What is this all about?” our security is standing in sight.

So I will politely say
what yr doing is not OK
I will politely state
You are dismantling the humane state

And yr threats, yr assaults, yr bullying, yr moral obscenity
R not Ok with me, R not Ok with me.
( I'll say it politely. )

So U can take yr “pleasant environment” you can return it to yr lying brain
Some of us stand, we will defend this land 'til love & truth run free again
And every time you take away what's mine I will name it and I'll take it back
Name who's the bully, name who makes the threats and name who is on the attack

So I will politely say
what they're doing is not OK
I will politely state
They're laying waste to the the humane state

And their threats, their assaults, their bullying, their moral obscenity
is not Ok with me, is not Ok with me.

I'm saying it Politely. x3


Chrystine Moon Sept 2011

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=you+tube+chrystine+moon&FORM=VIRE1#view=detail&mid=1BECE6186425CA5E404D1BECE6186425CA5E404D

Dad's day

It's a year ago today that my father died.
It's been a year of strong challenges, grief and gratitude... run thru with a thread of sustaining love.
I'm sorry more of my friends didn't meet this man of gentle love, unending devotion and occassional righteous rage.
I'm not saying all the legacy he left me has been easy.
It aint!
I've taken over the task of caring for my brother, tho am adopting a different approach, hopefully of more enabling support than protective care.
There's been grief and rage for the suffering our family inflicted upon itself and me, sometimes unavoidable, sometimes thru lack of help and insight and too much shame and fear.
I feel I've made a reasonably good job of surviving anf thriving thru this year.
No, damn it, I've made a good job!
I appreciate the friends and strangers who've stood by me and helped me thru the really anguished times.
I appreciate my strength.
I appreciate the warm memories of friendship and humour and kindness and care. And that I did get to really see my Dad whilst he was alive.
I'm glad I was there by his side on the hospital trolley, by the bed and, in his final hours, when the breathing stopped.
I'm glad I can wholeheartedly say I love him.
and I'm glad i know that death is no obstacle to love.
I celebrate his devotion to his son, his enduring love for Audrey his wife & my mother, and our connection of honesty, strength, humour and a bigger love than words can say.
I feel like saying "Happy birthday Dad"
and Thank You
and, whatever does or doesnt lie beyond the breathing body, I truly you hope you're having a damn good time!
: ) xxC

Gig!

Chrystine will be appearing @ Sheffield Pride.

www.sheffieldpride.org.uk

2pm T'other Stage

4pm Purple Ink Women's stage.