challenges

Well here I am struggling with a low-level yeuch-feeling virus and emotional pain resulting from a visit to my family. My dad has had some problem with swallowing and digestion and sees a specialist in 2 weeks time. He's 82, normally amazingly healthy and my brothers sole carer. Considering his needs and responding supportively feels fine & easy when I'm strong & well, but when I'm not it opens a right can o worms Re; the inequalities of care in our family, my virtial invisibility and my brothers infantile status beyond his actual needs. It's hard being silenced by yr family and ignored when yr in pain. Its also challenging facing up to my dad's mortality and the relatively little time we've had to see and appreciate each other beyond the shadow of tragedy my brother's illness and stigma of shame cast over our family. On top o this, they read the Daily Express! which interjects unexpected shots of homophobia , xenophobia and blatent sexism into this man who, actually, holds very loving and respectful values towards his fellow beings. If I'm not robust it floors me. and has pretty much done so this time. along with whatever viral shite I've picked up, probably from my brother.
So, here I am feeling angry and hurt and vulnerable, supposedly bloggin on sustainable love and the delights of earthly life!!!!!!
I',m moved by others support and emotional bravery. Just read an amazing post by transwoman Annie Danger on Fb re; support- or lack of it- from her dyke/womyn friends.
I guess really sustainable love is embracing all the challenges life throws at us and moving thru with courage, power and real love. I almost feel up to the challenge.
xxxC